


Our Cause Is Ripe

by Violsva



Category: Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Beginnings, Diary/Journal, M/M, Pining, Watson making lists, Watson's Woes July Writing Prompts 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 18:25:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7543222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violsva/pseuds/Violsva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Excerpt from the journal of Dr. John H. Watson. Italics indicate passages written in a simple substitution cipher.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Cause Is Ripe

**Author's Note:**

> For Watson's Woes [July Writing Prompt #20](http://watsons-woes.livejournal.com/1586458.html). Sequel to [Bleeding Hearts Around](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7498530).

May 10th. Rain, fog.  
Has Holmes been different these last few days? I thought I was imagining it, but it has been more than a week, and his eyes -

He does keep staring at me. I do not think there is anything new about me that could be puzzling him.

Perhaps it is simply that he has not had a case to occupy him since the Thompson affair. My arm is quite recovered now, but with nothing else on his mind he may have worried about me. However, he had a telegram this morning, and though he won’t show it to me I think it indicates a client, by the change in his mood. I hope he will take it - the atmosphere is beginning to feel a little strained. Usually it takes longer than this without work before this happens.

 

May 11th. Rain.  
_Is the man trying to drive me mad? If I thought he knew about my feelings, and if I was not certain he would not be so cruel, I would be convinced of it._

Visited Featherstonehaugh residence (Heavens, what a name!) regarding case. Holmes seemed disturbed this morning, but allowed me to stay as he interviewed his client, and relaxed entirely once absorbed in his work. Upon our return he remained supine on the sofa for quite three hours, permitting no noise around him; at last I left the house and ventured forth in the rain, though there was nothing I needed. Returned with tobacco (one of us will smoke it, no doubt) to find him in the same position but a better temper, even apologizing. If he has solved the case already he is not yet telling me how.

 

May 12th. Cloudy, fog, no rain.  
_Does he know? Let me be logical. Differences I have noticed:_  
_1\. Increased staring at me, without remarking upon his observations_  
_2\. Increased touching me, especially bare skin; however, he is less willing to sit close to me in cabs, etc._  
_3\. Stiffness of manner with me, but not others_  
_4\. My God, his smile. And yet his eyes look so -_

_I am not sure I would call this logic._

_The possibilities are:_  
_He knows, and is discomfited by it. This is what I would have thought, but perhaps does not fit the evidence?_  
_Some unrelated personal matter is concerning him. (Should I ask?)_  
_~~He knows, and~~_

_If he does know, at least he is not utterly disgusted, and we can both pretend he does not._

Spent the morning making enquiries among F. servants and tradesmen. In the afternoon Holmes went out on his own and I read most of Ben-Hur with my leg up - all this rain has not been good for it. Holmes returned this evening looking decidedly pleased with himself, whistling, etc.; I think he has a solution that merely waits upon proof. _And how he smiled at me, before he turned away!_

 

May 13th. Rain.  
The case is over (file: Canary Diamond). Holmes was dramatic as usual at the last, concealing the stone in the lady’s hat when he returned it to her. She caught it as it fell out, which is probably lucky for him.

_The way he looked at me when explaining it, as if the whole effort was for my praise._ He is now at the window playing the violin.

_He has never looked at me like that before this month. That I am sure of. What can it harm, if I ask him, in a very general way? If I am right - my God, if I am right - then I cannot let this mood of his pass. God knows how we might both explain it away to ourselves in future, and miss the chance forever. If I am wrong, hopefully he will be kind enough to pretend not to understand me, and we shall ignore it, as I have been ignoring it, and go forward. I shall ask him._

Damn it, I have sat here for half an hour staring at these lines. I will go ask him. 

 

May 15th.  
_My God, I did not think I could be so happy. I did not think he could be so happy._ [inkblots]


End file.
